I've Been Tagged ... All About MEME

Casey tagged me to do this MEME and since I have never done one before and I typically find myself pretty boring :) I can't make promises that I can come up with anything funny or interesting you don't already know, but here goes.

**Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 5 facts about yourself. Then choose 5 people you want to tag and list their names. Then leave a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged.**5 things about MEME...

1. I LOVE reality tv. I know a lot of people don't, but I really do. I don't get a lot of time to watch t.v. these days but when I do fit it in, I almost always pick some reality tv show. I love Big Brother, I love Top Chef and Project Runway. I have watched the new "Dirty Dancing" reality show. I don't watch survivor a lot because I got bored with it but I used to watch it. I like American Idol sort of. I watch the beginning and end of it. I like game shows too, especially Wheel of Fortune, Deal or No Deal, 1 vs. 100, Who want's to be a millionaire reruns. I even Tivo some of them to watch later.

2. I think I am fairly friendly but as I have gotten older I think socially I have become much more shy around new people. Maybe it has something to do with not working anymore and not being around very many people over the age of 1 1/2 on a daily basis. I can talk to anyone one on one, but put me in a group of new people or even people I love and I almost always put up an internal wall. I often leave social engagements regretting things I have said to others. I don't mean that I said mean or stupid things but I always replay my conversations after the fact and I almost always feel very embarassed and a little stupid. I think years of replaying those conversations in my head have now led me to hold back a lot when I am around new people in a group.

3. I am pretty sure I have an anxiety disorder of some type. Sometimes small things that have nothing to do with my daily life will affect me and I will have panic attacks at bedtime about them. One night a few months ago I read an article on the web stating that the government was preparing to retest the drafting system and that night I was up half the night with panic. I have no idea why. It was eating me up inside and even in the middle of the stomach tightening stressful panic attack I was fully aware that I shouldn't be worked up over it at all. It had no bearings on my life at the moment at all. I have thought many times about calling my doctor and asking for medication for anxiety but two things have kept me from doing that. 1) I don't readily have the time or sitters necessary to get to the doctor and so I keep putting it off and putting it off and 2) I hate taking any kind of medicine on a daily basis and am horrible at remembering to do it. I think it would probably do me some good to go though, that or I might need to find a good therapist. :) My mom says that maybe this anxiety thing has manifested itself recently because my nerves are so dulled by the stress and anxiety we experienced with the early birth of the girls. Maybe I had such a hard time then that my coping skills evaporated and now little things just work their way under my skin and I have a melt down. Who knows, it sounds logical to me. My question is how do I get back to the normal me who isn't so irrationally afraid of things anymore.

Wow I had no idea how this MEME thing was going to come out but I am finding really weird personal stuff to splay out there. Sorry about that .... Okay okay, think funny or at least interesting ...

4. I am seriously thinking about going back to school in the fall. Maybe doing some online courses first and then some basic classes at our local community college. I think I am pretty serious about pursuing a teaching degree. I am pretty creative and I think I would really enjoy teaching elementary school. It is really up my alley and I know that if I could get started back into this school thing I could finish it and then have the career I have always wanted. The hardest part is trying to figure out how to get back in after ten years of being out of school. I called yesterday and talked to an admissions counselor and I really think I am going to do this. I will have to pray for financial aid of course but I don't think that will be a big deal (being as poor as we are :) )

5. I Love LOVE Love where I am at in life right now. Early 20's were filled with trying to figure out where I belonged in this world and now that I am a few years older I finally feel I am at a place in my life where I am truly completly happy. I have everything I have ever wanted and wished and prayed for. I have a very supportive wonderful husband and two gorgeous sweet baby girls who are healthy and happy. The girls freely give away kisses and say baby gibberish in response to my constant "I love you's" to them which I interpret readily as "I love you too, mom" My days may be hectic some and boring others but there can't be anything better in the world than spending the day with people who love you more than anything else in their world. It feels magnificient to finally be at this place of complete contentment.

Well, I am done. Whew that was hard and easy at the same time.

Five people to tag (if they feel up to it):

1. The newly pregnant Kathy of "All About the Boy" ... not for long :)
2. Carrie Lynn
3. Tonya of "A Mother's Journal"
4. Mandy of "Anna and Emma"
5. Anybody else who wants to do it.

Let me know if you do it, so I can read :)