Flying By

This morning we all got up early. William went to the bank and I fed the girls and washed dishes. I ate breakfast and played online and then I decided to get Maddy, who was playing in her bouncer, and take her to bed with me, not with the intention so much as to sleep but more to cuddle and play in the big bed.

She played on the bed some, getting up on her knees and rocking back in forth. I made raspberries on her neck and tummy and legs and she giggled and we played peek-a-boo with the covers. After awhile we both settled down and she was looking somewhat sleepy and I was feeling pretty relaxed. I flipped her over and pulled her close to my side, into the crook of my arm. But within a few seconds she flipped herself back over onto her tummy and tried to crawl away from me. So I let her play for a minute and when I saw her put her head against the pillow I pulled her in again. This time she was still on her tummy with her head on my arm. She lay there for a minute or two and then bobbed her head up to look around. This went on for a while. She was tucked into my side but she wouldn't put her head down anymore. I think she thought I was wanting her to take a nap.

All of this got me to thinking. With each milestone that we celebrate, each new thing they learn, it is really a newfound independence for them. I mean as they learn to hold their bottles, and crawl, and roll, and pick up toys, really they need me less and less to do those things for them. They want to do more for themselves, that is part of the excitement for them. And that is a truly great thing and it means relief for me because there is less and less that I have to physically do for both of them. All of this will lead to little girls who are able to do lots of things for themselves and eventually each other. This is all part of growing up.

I am happy about this but at the same time I found myself feeling a little sad. It won't be long before they are bouncy toddlers running from room to room. It won't be long before we hear those words that all kids say at one time or another "I do it myself" I will have to tackle them and drag them to me for a brief kiss before releasing them to run wild again. I guess I just saw something in Maddy this morning that made me realize that they won't be babies forever. I mean they will always be MY babies. But they will grow up and with each step they will need me less. And that is okay with me but I think it is also okay that that makes me a little sad too.