What a smart baby!
I always feel like when I say one is smart I have to say the other is smart in the same sentence. I mean I think they are both brilliant, but why do I feel compelled to say it at the same time? I want to be fair? Or is it that I'm afraid if I mention one is smart or beautiful or ect that you might think that I favor that child and don't feel the same way about the other. Well, whatever. They are both smart and perfect and beautiful to me!
Maddy is now officially sitting up by herself. She goes from laying to sitting up to crawling. She is getting faster and faster every day. Morgan is crawling all over the place and although she is not quite doing the same physical feats Maddy is, she is doing better with her verbal and fine motor. Maddy is brave. She sees something she wants across the room and she is off like a rocket towards it. Morgan, on the other hand, thinks things through. She contemplates how to get there before going for it. It will be interesting to see if these patterns remain the same as they grow up.
I think sometimes people, even close family and friends, want to compare the girls. I think they pick one or the other and it has a tendency to come across as favor of one over the other. Usually this favor lies with Morgan. Since Morgan is the cuddlier baby, she is still a baby baby and she is typically quieter than Maddy, I think people tend to want to bond with her more. Maddy is always moving. She only cuddles when she is sleepy and usually that is reserved for me or William. She whines more and her cry (as I have described before) grates on your nerves more. Here below are some examples of comments I have heard in relation to my girls:
Not to long ago we went to a family dinner. One of the family members was standing around wanting to hold one of the babies. I really didn't want her to have the babies at all, but she was hovering. Over the course of the afternoon she ended up with Maddy. It was hot inside the house because there were so many people there. I went outside with Morgan to sit on the porch. This family member came out of the house and looking over at Morgan made this comment: "I don't like THIS ONE (meaning Maddy), I want to hold THAT one." Those were her exact words people. I went inside, got William and made him come get Maddy. I am pretty sure she didn't even know their names. Why else call them "this and that"
This isn't the only time comments have been made.
Another family member mentioned while holding Maddy, "Oh, I KNOW which one this one is" At the time Maddy was fussing.
One of our therapist calls Maddy "Meanie Weanie" and another calls her "Wild Woman"
I'm not mad at anyone about this, I just think its kind of unfair to start labeling my children now. Who knows if Maddy will grow up to be "impulsive" or "dramatic" I am seriously afraid that if this child grows up being seen as the "bad one" or any other labels that people want to come up with, she will have low self esteem. I don't want that for her or for Morgan. I want them to both feel completely loved, equally by ALL the people in their lives, especially their family. I want her to feel nurtured and appreciated and I want to let them become whatever it is in life that brings them happiness and fullfillment. She is a baby people! I truly believe that if they were not twins, I wouldn't hear half of the comments that I do. People would automatically think every new thing they do is just magnificent, and personality wise there would be nothing to comment on because there would be nothing to compare them to.
Anyway, I will get off my soap box now. I don't know where all this came from anyway, I was planning on writing about how yucky I feel today and how I didn't really feel like writing. I went through my recent pictures and was planning to put a one liner up and post a picture. And this is what I got instead.
I'm delusional from DayQuil (which did in fact make me drowsy and a little sick to my stomach) So just ignore my rantings. A blog is a place to rave and RANT sometimes right? So there ya go! See you tomorrow with something happier hopefully :)
I always feel like when I say one is smart I have to say the other is smart in the same sentence. I mean I think they are both brilliant, but why do I feel compelled to say it at the same time? I want to be fair? Or is it that I'm afraid if I mention one is smart or beautiful or ect that you might think that I favor that child and don't feel the same way about the other. Well, whatever. They are both smart and perfect and beautiful to me!
Maddy is now officially sitting up by herself. She goes from laying to sitting up to crawling. She is getting faster and faster every day. Morgan is crawling all over the place and although she is not quite doing the same physical feats Maddy is, she is doing better with her verbal and fine motor. Maddy is brave. She sees something she wants across the room and she is off like a rocket towards it. Morgan, on the other hand, thinks things through. She contemplates how to get there before going for it. It will be interesting to see if these patterns remain the same as they grow up.
I think sometimes people, even close family and friends, want to compare the girls. I think they pick one or the other and it has a tendency to come across as favor of one over the other. Usually this favor lies with Morgan. Since Morgan is the cuddlier baby, she is still a baby baby and she is typically quieter than Maddy, I think people tend to want to bond with her more. Maddy is always moving. She only cuddles when she is sleepy and usually that is reserved for me or William. She whines more and her cry (as I have described before) grates on your nerves more. Here below are some examples of comments I have heard in relation to my girls:
Not to long ago we went to a family dinner. One of the family members was standing around wanting to hold one of the babies. I really didn't want her to have the babies at all, but she was hovering. Over the course of the afternoon she ended up with Maddy. It was hot inside the house because there were so many people there. I went outside with Morgan to sit on the porch. This family member came out of the house and looking over at Morgan made this comment: "I don't like THIS ONE (meaning Maddy), I want to hold THAT one." Those were her exact words people. I went inside, got William and made him come get Maddy. I am pretty sure she didn't even know their names. Why else call them "this and that"
This isn't the only time comments have been made.
Another family member mentioned while holding Maddy, "Oh, I KNOW which one this one is" At the time Maddy was fussing.
One of our therapist calls Maddy "Meanie Weanie" and another calls her "Wild Woman"
I'm not mad at anyone about this, I just think its kind of unfair to start labeling my children now. Who knows if Maddy will grow up to be "impulsive" or "dramatic" I am seriously afraid that if this child grows up being seen as the "bad one" or any other labels that people want to come up with, she will have low self esteem. I don't want that for her or for Morgan. I want them to both feel completely loved, equally by ALL the people in their lives, especially their family. I want her to feel nurtured and appreciated and I want to let them become whatever it is in life that brings them happiness and fullfillment. She is a baby people! I truly believe that if they were not twins, I wouldn't hear half of the comments that I do. People would automatically think every new thing they do is just magnificent, and personality wise there would be nothing to comment on because there would be nothing to compare them to.
Anyway, I will get off my soap box now. I don't know where all this came from anyway, I was planning on writing about how yucky I feel today and how I didn't really feel like writing. I went through my recent pictures and was planning to put a one liner up and post a picture. And this is what I got instead.
I'm delusional from DayQuil (which did in fact make me drowsy and a little sick to my stomach) So just ignore my rantings. A blog is a place to rave and RANT sometimes right? So there ya go! See you tomorrow with something happier hopefully :)
8 comments:
mimi Adam Wanted Me To Tell You HE Loves You. And He Dont Like One Better Then The Other He Loves Them Both The Same.
"Tonya still sitting here with the look of horror on her face" @ the comment "I dont like this one I want that one!" OMG how could someone say that.. I would have been like "EXCUSE ME?" That would have totally freaked me out!
Its good that they are different and do things at their own pace.. I mean that is what makes the girls individuals!! If they were exactly the same that would be no fun would it?
Well since im only in blogland I cant give them a hug so I will send my virtual hugs to BOTH of them equally!! and I am going to give them nicknames.. Little Jellybeans because they are both tooooo sweet!!
Oh and one more thing.. that is such a cute piccie of Maddy :) What a big girl sitting there!!
Hey, Mandy and girls! I just want to say that I love them both the same, too. I'm so proud of how far they've come in such a short time and can't wait to see everything else they'll be doing. I'm proud of you, too, for being such a good mommy. I know I usually see them at least once a week, but sometimes that still seems like a lifetime since they are figuring all these new things out. I don't care who it is I get to hold as long as they'll still let me. By the way, this is Melissa. I say that b/c I'm still ot sure if I can get this thing to say my name or be "anonymous" again. Love you!
I have followed your girls' progess, and I am amazed. They are truly a blessing and are so beautiful...BOTH of them! I also can't believe they were called "this one" and "that one". I would have totally said something about that. Oh, and I guess I am delurking. I have been secretly reading....
I.ADORE.BOTH.MADDY.AND.MORGAN.EQUALLY. and I can't wait to have a playdate to hold them BOTH.
I think alot of the times, because they are twins, everyone feels like they should be the exact same... they don't understand that just because they shared a womb that it doesn't make them clones of each other.
Even with my girls living for the extremely short time that they did, my mom told me her favorite was Mercy. ??? What?
I hated the thought of someone choosing one over the other... but Mandy, you are a tremendous mother and you recognize that is could possibly be a problem and you can, very early one, take steps to make sure those girls know how special each of them are! Maddy is special, and Morgan is special. They are both miracles, but they are also individual miracles that overcame their own obstacles.
I love them both.
jgqfThanks everybody for the comments. I think, Lucky Gem, that I have a lot of lurkers who read but don't comment. That is fine by me. I am so lucky to have such good friends and such great support. Thanks for caring about the girls. They are perfect to me, BOTH of them.
Sometimes you see how people treat children as objects for their own amusement, and that "I dont like this one I want that one!" comment is a great example. Very rude and selfish for someone to say that, you have a right to be put off by that. And by the way, Dayquil does the same thing to me, I'd stay away from the stuff if I were you!
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