Thursday, June 08, 2006

A Mother's Worries

What better place to post my worries than my website where other preemie mom's can tell me if we are the exception or the rule. Where we can share experiences and help each other figure this whole motherhood thing out.

Lately I have been amazed at my children. Simply amazed! I look at them and see them learning something new, something I was told not to expect at this point. I see Maddy trying to walk. She is 10 months old and if you correct for her age, she is 7 months old (the doctor said that I could even allow her an extra month because she had surgery at one week old and you have to add in recovery time?) So anyway, she is trying to walk. She is up on her feet all day, holding on to furniture and moving around holding on to different things. Last night she pulled up on me while I was laying on the floor and once she was up she let go. She stood there for a second and then fell down. I thought it was just a fluke thing and didn't think about it to much, when a few minutes later, she was up and let go again. Wow! I wasn't even expecting them to really be good crawlers at age one. I guess I was hoping, but figured it would be okay if they didn't start pulling up and stuff till they were a year and a half or so.

Morgan is crawling all over the place and while physically she has always been a few days or weeks behind Maddy, she seems to progress from one step to the other faster. Sunday she was belly crawling mostly and occasionally getting up on her knees and rocking back and forth. Yesterday she got up on her knees and crawled into the kitchen right behind Maddy, and Maddy is fast people. Morgan went from barely crawling to power crawling almost overnight. I think she will be pulling up by the end of the week if we continue at this rate. She is already reaching her hands out to try and grab something to pull up on.

And while I am so amazed and so happy, there are other things, seemingly little thing that are bothering me. Maybe they are nothing, maybe I am worrying too much. Here are some of them. Especially if you are a preemie parent, please take a minute and give me your opinion. If it is something that you think I should be worrying about, tell me. I am not just looking for someone to allay my fears (though that would be nice too) I am mostly looking to see if other preemie parents have been through these same challenges with their little ones. Here goes:

1. Maddy and Morgan have no teeth.
They act like they are teething, you know, drooling and chewing on everything, but still no signs of teeth. I don't see any white bumps along the gum lines and I do think I feel teeth but I don't know. The girls are 10 1/2 months old and not a single tooth. The other night I dreamed Maddy had one tooth up top and I started crying because I thought she was growing up too fast. I am happy to still have my gummy girls but I just don't know if they should in fact have teeth yet and if they should what should I do? Take them to the dentist or what? What age do preemies usually get teeth?
Worry rating: 2 out of 10 (10 being a major concern)

2. Morgan is still not sitting.
The physical therapist says she has some high muscle tone issues and it took her a while to lose some of her newborn reflexes. I have been working with her everyday, helping her to learn to sit down. I will stand her in front of me and then gently guide her down into a sitting position. She tends to keep her legs stiff and at first would rather fall straight back, than bend her knees and sit comfortably. She is getting better at this and last night sat in the sink on a sponge without falling over. What age do preemies start sitting? Did any other preemies out there have this kind of trouble at first?
Worry rating: 6

3. Neither of my children like textured foods.
This morning I put a tiny bit of banana in their mouths and both choked and gagged to the point that William and I had to get them out of their highchairs and beat on their backs. They don't like anything lumpy. I gave Maddy a french fry the other day and she liked that, but never swallowed it. She just sucked the potato out of it and then dropped it. They are on stage 2 baby food and I bought stage 3 but they won't eat it. They gag and make faces till I sweep it out of their mouths. Do all baby's do this at first? Is this a sign that they might have a texture or feeding aversion? Should I call the speech therapist back?
Worry rating: 5-6

4. Morgan coughs if she cries.
She doesn't seem sick but she gets out of breath sometimes when she gets upset. She has always been a panter and both girls have been diagnosed with BPD or Chronic Lung Disease, but we have never seen anything to worry about with their breathing. Now all of the sudden, Morgan is panting and coughing when she cries. I cough when I laugh. Is this just something that some people do when they get really upset? Could it be baby asthma or something to do with her lungs?
Worry rating: 4

5. Maddy turns blue.
Not when she is crying or eating or anything like that. She just turns blue when she is naked. If she gets the smallest chill she turns into a blueberry or sometimes a raspberry. During the winter I just thought her hands and feet were blue because she was cold because it was cold outside and she was so little. But now it is spring/summer and like 90 degrees outside and 78 in the house and she is still turning blue, outside and inside. One good thing is that her lips don't turn blue, so I don't think it is a lack of oxygen thing. I asked her PT about it and she said it is something to watch and could indicate a heart valve problem? WHAT, HELLO who do I need to see? But then I talked to one of Aubree's NICU nurses last weekend when Aubree turned a little blue in the feet and she said it is a very common preemie thing that she should outgrow by the time she is two. She said that if it was a heart thing we would already see other signs of it and we would know that by now. So ... I don't know what to think about that.
Worry rating: 5

Okay so now you see what a crazy loon I am. My worry ratings are not super high for any of these concerns. I imagine that if they were, I wouldn't be asking you, but instead would have already made an appointment at the doctor's office. I guess I just want to hear if other mom's have noticed similar things with their little bundles or if I am alone out here in hypochondria world! What do you think? :)

Thanks for being a good friend to me! I appreciate all of you and appreciate having other moms to connect with, other people to share all the ups and downs! Thanks for your time and friendship! :)

--- Quick Note ---
I have been having problems with Blogger the last two days. I am able to pull up the pages in my links section but I am not able to post comments. I try to and occasionally get one through, but usually it just says "Error: Page not Found". Please know that if we are blog buddies, I am still reading your pages and will continue to try to comment. I am thinking of you. I emailed a bunch of you and have had several people email me back and say that you too are having the same problems. If you want to send me your email address I will comment to you directly if I can't get it to post. My email address is: mandygal2004@aol.com or if you want to comment about this post and can't get blogger to work just shoot me an email. Thanks for your patience and your continued friendship. Who could ask for better? ... not me.

8 comments:

Kathy said...

Patrick just got teeth, and I'd been worried that he hadn't gotten any yet before now, especially since he'd been teething for months. When I asked my doctor, though, he said his own son, a non-preemie, didn't get his first tooth until 15 months. I stopped worrying. His kid is totally normal.
Patrick isn't sitting yet either. I'm getting worried about it too. It's like he shows no interest in progressing physically. I wish I could help your worry there, but at least I share it.
And Patrick coughs sometimes when he cries too. I'm pretty sure his is mostly fake, a way of getting my attention faster than crying. I stopped worrying about it a long time ago because it's clear he's not choking.
Sorry I can't help you on the rest of the worries. Patrick's just not there yet, I guess.

Hechung said...

Sorry I'm obviously not much help since we're still int he NICU, but I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for the good news about Maddy and Morgan. They are such blessings and cuties.

Tonya said...

Okay for starters Mandy, Your beautiful girls are PERFECT!! and you do NOT have to worry about them. They are doing amazing and are learning very quickly!

*Runs off to grab on of Randie's babybooks*

Always remember that all children are different. If someone elses child does something before yours.. WHO CARES! They will do it in their time and that is what makes them unique. I used to worry so much about babies doing things before Randie.. but not anymore im sick of the worrying. She will do things when she is ready and so will your girls!

Teeth - As far as them not having teeth yet.. that is a GOOD thing! The neonatologists told us when we asked about Randie's that the longer they stay in the better because under the gums they are more protected. The fact that they are drooling and chewing means they are teething.. I have heard of many preemies not even getting teeth till a year or so!

Randie's first tooth - Aug/2005 so she was 9 months old / 6 corrected

Morgan and sitting - I cannot give you much advice on this. If your therapist tells you what it is and tells you how to work on it with Morgan then that is all you can do. She will sit Mandy. You just do your part to help her muscles and stuff and she will be sitting in no time!

Randie sitting - August/05
she was 9 months old / 6 corrected

Textured foods - This is SOOO common Mandy. Randie still has these issues and she is 19 months/16 months corrected age. I remember when I first tried mushed banana she gagged and puked everywhere.. She is good with banana now but hates to chew.. Sometimes she just swallows until she gags herself. As long as your girls are gaining weight there is nothing to worry about. You just have to keep trying. A little tip I was told (If they gag or vomit on something.. dont give them that food for at least a few days and then try again. You dont want them to relate food with something bad like gagging or puking) One other little tip.. If they do gag just try and remain calm and rub their back.. Never pat/beat on their backs because that is a major choking concern.. If you do that it lodges the food further back into the throat. Feeding issues are very common in preemies but it is really just trial and error :)

Morgan coughing when crying - Again this is a tough one for me because Randie did not have BPD. Randie would however cough all the time when she cried and then vomit everywhere.. Alot of babies preemies or non preemies vomit when they cry.. when they are upset it just causes the tummy to get upset.. also it gets them attention. I see your worry rating is a 4 on this so if it gets worse I would just call your pedi.

Maddy turning blue - I remember Randie's feet, legs turning bluish for awhile. It always really worried me and I thought it might be some kind of circulation problem but the pedi didnt seem worried about it and I dont notice it anymore. If it is only when she is naked and its not like that when she has clothes on it doesnt seem like it would be a serious problem but if your worry persists ask more questions.

You are not a hypochondirac I am...lol Nah none of us are.. we are just mommy's worried about our babies. That is normal.. if we were not then that would be cause for worry. The fact that you worry and ask questions just shows us all you are a fantastic mom!! (((hugs)))

Blogger has been wank lately.. seems okay today.. hope it stays this way. Sorry this post became a book but wanted to cover the areas you asked about the best I could to help :)

Tonya said...

OMG I just realised how long it was once i posted...

*hides under a rock* lol

Becci said...

Just want you to know I haven't been able to comment either. Argh! Until today.

I know my neice is not even a preemie, but didn't get teeth til close to a year and took a while to sit up, too. Every child is different.

Emmakirst said...

I'm not very much help here, since all my children were overdue, (except Ava, induced 4 days early) But I'll tell you my first daughter didn't get her first tooth until about 11 mos old, then she had all of them in about 2 months. I know children all grow at different rates, but not sure about the developmental rate in which preemies grow considering the corrected age factor.

They certainly sound as though they are developing perfectly fine, considering the speed crawling ;)

Don't think you sound like a hypochondriac, you are a concerned mom and would like others opinions that have experienced something similar to you, that's all :) Sorry I'm no help to you. They are gorgeous!

Mandy said...

Thanks again for all the advice! I really appreciate it.

Amy said...

I just posted about the eating thing on my blog, as well.

With my twins (32 wks), Baylee got her first tooth at 6 months, but Brayden was 10.5 months. My best friend's baby was 13 months and wasn't a preemie.

Brayden was in the NICU for 2 months,was on the vent for 5 weeks, and underwent pretty major surgery--so obviously I have always worried about him more than my daughter. That said, he has always been about 2-3 weeks behind Baylee in meeting milestones. He has CLD, too, and used to cough a lot when he cried, but he seems to be growing out of it.

As for the foods, Brayden will gorge on the Stage 3 foods completely unbothered by the texture. Baylee, on the other hand, spits, gags, and rakes the food out of her mouth. HOWEVER, she *will* eat solid foods such as shredded chicken or turkey, macaroni and cheese (one noodle at a time), little cubes of cheese, and cereal, such as Cheerios. She really likes feeding herself. I never thought to try her on real food because of her hatred of Stage 3 food, but someone suggested it to me. She does much better with it.

You're so completely normal to worry about those things. I worry every day, but I'm sure it is for naught.